Saturday, November 27, 2010
MY. PERFECT. GUY. What is a perfect guy? What is everyone looking for when you say PERFECT. I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect guy but I know what I like. I want someone that can make me smile. That can make me laugh. I want someone who I can be weird with who will hold my hand around his friends and kiss my hair and call me "cute" instead of "hot" I want someone that will lay in bed with me all day and cuddle and watch movies with me. Who will go do stupid things like go ice skating and go on ferris wheels and go bowling. I want someone who does what is good for me too, who doesn't put me in bad positions. I want someone who is there for me when everything seems to be going wrong, who stands up for me and is there to hug me when everything is falling to pieces. I want someone who is real. Who likes to be stupid and silly. Who isn't worried about what people think. Is any of this possible? Is it possible to find someone like that? Or am i being unrealistic.
So it's 50 degrees outside. At least it's sunny. Right? So we walk to the jacuzzi a few minutes away from Colin's house. This is the bad thing about having a guy in your life that surfs every day and is never cold. It doesn't matter if it's freezing outside its always time for a jacuzzi sesh. So we go to the jacuzzi and I change in the bathroom. And it's freezing. Cold tile + freezing outside+ bathing suit = HORRIBLE COMBINATION. So we go in the jacuzzi. And we are having good time. For like 2 hours haha. And then these old people come. And we are sitting there. And it is really awkward. And then I start laughing because the old woman is sitting there say "OHHHHH! OHHH! These jets feel soooo good on my back." and the old man has boobs that could be bigger than mine. Big. Saggy. Boobs. And chest hair. So hot. So me and Colin are sitting in the jacuzzi. With these awkward old people. I get out to go get dressed. When I come back he is awkwardly staring at his phone and the old woman is standing in front of the old man. He awkwardly says bye and then we leave. As we are walking out- he says "i think they were waiting for us to leave so they can fuck" oh my god. hahahhaa. i can see it now. ew. no. why!!! fucking old people stealing our jacuzzi. "I was going to tell them to be safe but...." "Colin. She's too old to have babies" "but you're not!" "this is true... LET'S GO MAKE BABIES!!!" Just kidding. We are going back to his house to hang out with his mom. Hahaha i love awkward days with my husband <3
- Find a rubber ducky. Make it swim.
- Pretend you are a fountain
- Blast Ke$ha as loud as you can and use the shampoo bottle as a microphone
- Scream at your sister through the wall and tell her you are trying to relax so she needs to shut up
- Call people and tell them you are in the bath when they say what's up.... if a guy starts talking dirty. HANG UP THE PHONE.
- Close your eyes and take a nap. Just kidding! You might drown
- Make your bathtub an ocean. See how bug you can make the waves.
PETER was a lady bug. Oakley found him in her room on November 25th, 2010. He was a good lady bug. He never hurt anyone and buzzed around being a good little lady bug. At first, we thought he was a girl... but then we named him Peter. Peter was a perfect example of a wonderful buggy. Sadly, he passed away. 42 seconds after she found him. He died under her bed. It was a very very sad day. And we miss Peter very much. We intend to flush him on the 27th of November. If you would like to attend the service please contact Oakley. Rest in peace Peter! You will always be in our thoughts.
I saw you turn into a tiger at midnight. I would have thought it was a very strange thing. But then again, you are a very strange person. It was really cool and all, until you tried to eat me. We wrestled on the couch and all the pillows on my bed ended up on the floor and sheets were in shreds. Damn. That was a long night. I need a beer.