Mom: Kaitlyn get off your phone
Me: Hold on I'm telling Colin he's a dick for bailing today but that i still love him because he is my husband (looking down at phone typing 100 words a minute)
Marissa: I like pie. Let's eat my pie now
Me: Marissa shut up and make your taco.
Dad: Get off your phone.
Me: No. I am busy. I will when we start eating
Dad: Who are you talking to? What guy is it today Kaitlyn?
Me: MY HUSBAND sheeeshh dad.
Mom: Make your tacos
Marissa sorts through the pile of tortillas. FInd the 2 lightest ones. My mom tells her to pick one. She holds them up trying to decide which one is lighter. I grab one and put it on my plate. She slams the other tortilla down on her plate and wrestles me for my plate. I finally let go. She puts the other plate in front of me. Thanks.
Mom: How was dance?
Marissa: Well we talked about mean girls more in Chase's class today. He loves mean girls. And we stretched. A lot. I have to go stretch more later.
Mom: How's your head?
Me: It feels like someone filled it with razor blades and then shook it. It feels wonderful.
Dad: (says nothing.. is pouting)
Mom: WHERE'S MY FORK! (searches kitchen for it)
Dad: Lisa... its right here
Mom: SHE TOOK MINE!
Me: Someone's a little bit drunk
Mom: Not at all.
Me: Whatever you say! (smiles jokingly)
Dad: See its all my fault. You are both a pain in my ass and it's all my fault right?
Marissa: (puppy dog eyes) No.... its not your fault daddy
Me: Shut up marissa.
Marissa: I'm cutting my pie!
Me: Ew. Mexican food and pie?
Mom: Not at the same time.
Marissa: (gets up and cuts pie. mom walks over)
Mom: Marissa you only cut 6 pieces
Marissa: OH NO!
Me: Cut each one in half
Marissa: Then we'd have 16 pieces!
Me: Uhmm no babe...
Mom: You'd have 12
Marissa: (starts slicing pie)
Mom: oh wait.. there was 8 pieces
Me: You would.
Dad: Too many margaritas?
Mom: If that was all it took this would be our daily dose.
we all sit down with our pie.
Dad: Mexicans like pie too.
we all look at him and start laughing hysterically
Dad: You said Mexican food doesn't go good with pie. Well mexicans like pie too!
Me: Oh my god..
Marissa: (CHoking on whipped cream)
Me: Me and Loran had a conversation about asian people
Marissa: I like asians.
Me: Awesome. He talked about how they smelled bad.
Me: Ya... hahah
Marissa: Asian people like pie too.
Mom: YEs. Their Moon pie!
Dad: like Mumbai "Hi I'm from Moon pie india"
Mom: Mumbai is in Africa
Dad: No. It's in india hahahha
Me: Mom its Moon CAKE not moon pie.
Marissa: HAHHAHHHAHA IM GOING TO PEE
Dad: HAHA oh god.
Mom: DONT PEE ON THE BLANKET!!!
Me: I like that blanket..
Marissa: AHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHA.... AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA
Me: I am going to kill you if you pee on that.
Marissa: Okay. I didn't pee.
Then... i left.
THANK GOD COLIN COULDN'T COME TUTOR ME TONIGHT BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE EXPERIENCED THE MOST MESSED UP DINNER EVER. AND I LEFT SOME STUFF OUT. i would have died.