Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I have a weird family.

Dinner table. 

Mom:  Kaitlyn get off your phone

Me: Hold on I'm telling Colin he's a dick for bailing today but that i still love him because he is my husband (looking down at phone typing 100 words a minute)

Marissa: I like pie. Let's eat my pie now

Me: Marissa shut up and make your taco.

Dad: Get off your phone.

Me: No. I am busy. I will when we start eating

Dad: Who are you talking to? What guy is it today Kaitlyn?

Me: MY HUSBAND sheeeshh dad.

Mom: Make your tacos

Marissa sorts through the pile of tortillas. FInd the 2 lightest ones. My mom tells her to pick one. She holds them up trying to decide which one is lighter. I grab one and put it on my plate. She slams the other tortilla down on her plate and wrestles me for my plate. I finally let go. She puts the other plate in front of me. Thanks. 

Mom: How was dance?

Marissa: Well we talked about mean girls more in Chase's class today. He loves mean girls. And we stretched. A lot. I have to go stretch more later. 

Mom: How's your head?

Me: It feels like someone filled it with razor blades and then shook it. It feels wonderful.

Dad: (says nothing.. is pouting)

Mom: WHERE'S MY FORK! (searches kitchen for it)

Dad: Lisa... its right here

Mom: SHE TOOK MINE!

Me: Someone's a little bit drunk

Mom: Not at all.

Me: Whatever you say! (smiles jokingly)

Dad: See its all my fault. You are both a pain in my ass and it's all my fault right?

Me: Basically.

Marissa: (puppy dog eyes) No.... its not your fault daddy

Me: Shut up marissa. 

Marissa: I'm cutting my pie!

Mom: No.

Me: Ew. Mexican food and pie?

Mom: Not at the same time.

Marissa: (gets up and cuts pie. mom walks over)

Mom: Marissa you only cut 6 pieces

Marissa: OH NO!

Me: Cut each one in half

Marissa: Then we'd have 16 pieces!

Me: Uhmm no babe...

Mom: You'd have 12

Marissa: (starts slicing pie)

Mom: oh wait.. there was 8 pieces

Me: You would. 

Dad: Too many margaritas?

Mom: If that was all it took this would be our daily dose.


we all sit down with our pie.



Dad: Mexicans like pie too.


we all look at him and start laughing hysterically

Me: WHAT????

Dad: You said Mexican food doesn't go good with pie. Well mexicans like pie too!

Me: Oh my god..

Marissa: (CHoking on whipped cream) 

Me: Me and Loran had a conversation about asian people

Marissa: I like asians.

Me: Awesome. He talked about how they smelled bad.

Dad: What?

Me: Ya... hahah

Marissa: Asian people like pie too.

Mom: YEs. Their Moon pie!

Dad: like Mumbai "Hi I'm from Moon pie india"

Mom: Mumbai is in Africa

Dad: No. It's in india hahahha

Me: Mom its Moon CAKE not moon pie. 

Marissa: HAHHAHHHAHA IM GOING TO PEE

Dad: HAHA oh god.

Mom: DONT PEE ON THE BLANKET!!!

Me: I like that blanket..

Marissa: AHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHA.... AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

Me: I am going to kill you if you pee on that. 

Marissa: Okay. I didn't pee.


Then... i left. 


THANK GOD COLIN COULDN'T COME TUTOR ME TONIGHT BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE EXPERIENCED THE MOST MESSED UP DINNER EVER. AND I LEFT SOME STUFF OUT.  i would have died.



Fuck two peas in a pod, we are two eggs in a carton ;)

Guilty Pleasures?!

  1.  sweat pants- they are super comfy
  2. acrylics- way to waste money
  3. facebook- good way to procrastinate
  4. dark chocolate and strawberries- yum.
  5. cosmopolitan- so dirty. its good hahaa
  6. coming home and getting in my pajamas- what i want to relax?
  7. formspring- its horribly funny. I love writing responses
  8. buying so many shoes- i have a problem
  9. baja blast mtn. dew- what? it's refreshing?
  10. staples- im weird. its a giant toy store. OH I NEED THOSE PENS TOO! THEY ARE PRETTY
  11. starbucks starbucks starbucks- i am seriously addicted. is there a rehab for starbucks addicts?
  12. poptarts- i am 2.
  13. blackberry cabernet ice cream- sooo goooodddddd
  14. lucky charms and fruit loops-i miss being a kid apparently


if you really wanted to see me. you'd make an effort to see me. but you're not. so i am going to stop wasting my time now.

NOW ITS CHRISTMAS TIME

Okay so nowI can stop bitching about it still being Thanksgiving. It is officially December! Time for hot chocolate, walking around looking at christmas lights, winter break, kissing under mistletoe, new years, snow, christmas, cuddling and watching movies, decorating the christmas tree and all of that good stuff :) So looking forward to having someone to cuddle with over the holidays this year. Can't wait! I am officially stoked for the month of December <3

NO SHAVE NOVEMBER IS OVER


NO SHAVE NOVEMBER IS OVER BOYS, MEANS ITS TIME TO BREAK OUT THE RAZOR AND SHAVE OFF THOSE LOVELY BEARDS OF YOURS.

Welcome to the Jungle

The inner cave man comes to fashion! Let's dress the girls up in weird looking shoes that hurt their feet and are hard to walk in to make them look unique and do their hair weird so that it looks like they have ears and mains and make sure you do their makeup kinda crazy to go with their outfits. We're going to use leaf like material and animal prints and furs and stuff. Because we can. It's high fashion. It's runway. And we want our girls to look FIERCE