i could have lost one of my best friends today. and i could have been in the car she was in that flipped. and i am glad that she is okay. because i don't know what i would do without her. but it made me realize that things don't always go as planned and that stuff happens that's not supposed to. and i am lucky that she is alive and that everyone was okay. just the wrong place at the wrong time, i dont know what made me lucky- maybe it was fate.
Friday, January 28, 2011
What’s the reason I’m standing here waiting?
I know that you’re not happy with me, dad,
I’m not going to spend my time debating.
You say you don’t hold grudges, but you are still mad,
I am sorry that I made a mistake.
Stop yelling at me! I can’t take your pain,
It’s like dropping a glass and watching it break.
All the strength I have is beginning to wane,
Sometimes you make me want to go and forget.
I don’t move a muscle, I keep on sitting,
Holding a cigarette waiting to be lit.
Wondering, dreaming, even reminiscing,
And I’m still sitting here looking at this door-
I’ve got no where to go, nothing to live for.
1. i miss the good morning text messages and good night phone calls
2. i miss when we would have random conversations and talk about things like how i wanted juice or chinchillas or random stuff like that.
3. i miss the random songs we found that applied to us
4. i miss the way you would look at me, eyes unfocused, noses touching after we kissed
5. i miss the way you would only say i love you if you really really meant it
6. i miss how your eyes could never lie to me
7. i miss how you would pick flowers for me and tuck them behind my ear because i thought they were pretty
8. i miss how you would hold my hand in yours and wouldn't let go
9. i miss the way you'd kiss my hair and forehead just because
10. i miss our late night pizza calls
11. i miss the hammock we would sit in on the side of your house, looking up at the stars
12. i miss that disgusting green colored blanket and your bean bag i always managed to fall asleep on
13. i miss avatar
14. i miss the idea of growing old with you- because now i know it'll never happen
15. i miss wearing that necklace around my neck and that poncho. because they belonged to you
16. i miss playing frisbee at the park
17. i miss our long walks and starbucks runs
18. i miss when you would carry me all the way home and give me piggy back rides when i forgot my shoes and the ground burned my feet
19. i miss how even though you didnt like it because PDA is "gross" you'd still kiss me in public
20. i miss walking wherever whenever just because we could. turn right, turn left, it doesn't matter
21. i miss the ugly baby pictures we found that made us laugh at dinner
22. i miss your dad dedicating jazz songs to me in the car with you and your mom and having you roll your eyes
23. i miss your freckles
24. i miss walking into the room to find you hanging from the ceiling on a bar or those rings
25. i miss the gate lady i saw at least twice a week who gave me the slip to get to your house
26. i miss when you were actually nice.
27. i miss when i was yours.