Thursday, February 24, 2011

the awkward moment when a really hot guy with a smokin' body comes up to the machine next to you in the gym and you can't help but casually glance over to get a look at the sexiness getting buff next to you :p
i'm at the point where i just want to throw my middle finger in the air and yell F*#$ the world!!!

driving until i forget what happened. driving until i forget what i said. driving until i forget the chills that still run down my spine. driving until i forget that look in your eyes and the cracked, broken tone to your voice. driving until you are erased from my memory.
dear boy i am beginning to miss for no apparent reason,

i was talking to you today, and you broke my heart all over again. i never knew how lost you were when we were together... but i know now. and i am hitting myself trying to understand why i didn't see it before.. how could i miss something so big when i was with you for so long. i'm wondering if i was really that unobservant and i don't understand how this could have happened.. i should have realized what was going on- i should have helped you stop. i didn't. you never let me know there was a problem. and i just wanted to say that everything you could be is so amazing and i hope that you don't give up because you have potential that a lot of people don't.

no longer knowing what to think and realizing that something you had is now something you've lost- that is the worst feeling in the world.

smiles reflected in our cheap sunglasses we tried on in Urban Outfitters. Yours were Harry Potter style- with large, owl eye rims the color of the salmon old Mr. Wong's counter was selling this morning on 10th street. You grinned, taking my hand in yours and pulling me to look in the mirror. It was truly a beautiful sight, our figures reflected together in a glassy wall. He turned to me and said, "Darling, you look simply ravishing in those glasses." I curtsied, "Oh why thank you Mr. Scott! We do look smashing." He kissed my forehead pulling me towards him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled myself against his chest. All those days around on the playground when we were kids, the callused hands from monkey bars and then wishes made off of stray eyelashes that fell on our cheeks were finally paying off.  
your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer