Thursday, March 3, 2011


do not kiss in hallways. people will whisper and giggle and look at you when you walk by. do not kiss in a movie. old people might look at you like you are doing something wrong- even though they were doing the exact same thing 20 years back. do not kiss at home. mommy and daddy might see. don't kiss at a party. someone might call you a slut. don't kiss ever. kissing is for whores. haha just kidding. who gives a fuck what people think.

Here’s a condom. Since you’re acting like a dick, you should dress like one.


Okay, so i am at the grocery store. I am in my pajamas. I came for poptarts okay? And this lady is walking next to me. And she is blonde. Like blonde blonde. Like oh my god did you buy that out of a box? blonde. Like blonder than Gaga blonde. And she's got on her Juicy sweats. Pink. Of course. And the crop top. thats pink too. Belly button piercing. Fake tan. Like oh my god? did you mean to look that orange? you look like a fucking oompa loompa! tan. Stomach showing. Major cleavage with the leopard straps. Like did you buy a fucking bombshell bra from victoria's secret? status.  Did you want to have your boobs go up to your neck? Watch she probably did. shes probably like an A or a B and now she's a D because of that bra or she got a boob job. That's probably it. So in that case. Shes like a triple E. She's got the huge glossy lips. Injected? The perfect nose. Where'd you get it done? The dark eye shadow with the liquid eye liner to give her cat eyes. The huge diamond earrings and the cute little tiffanys bracelet with her wedding ring. I have money. Can you tell? She's on her iphone talking in a very fake, annoying voice. She turns around. Juicy written in rhinestones on her ass. Little girl walks by. "Mommmy! Look! SHE LOOKS LIKE BARBIE! BUT SHE'S OLD!" Way to try and be a MILF. You failed miserably.

elephants. Buddha's bellies. rabbits feet. four leaf clovers. ladybugs. horseshoes. dragonflies. agate stones... i'm losing track of all these good luck charms.
i honestly feel prettier with painted nails- does that make me weird??

it's sad to think that once i meant so much to you but now i mean absolutely nothing. you have the memories but that is all. there was no gain. there was ruin. and i'm just starting to realize how much i actually messed up and how much i actually do still want you here.
i wanna pet a stingray! that looks fun haha
i had no reason to walk away from you. i just did because i didn't know what else to do. so i'm sitting on the edge of the road now with the keys in the ignition trying to decide if i should go back, or if i should just drive. James Taylor's voice croons on the radio. I had to escape the suffocating sensation, the angry mouth and hell bound eyes. Cancerous words for a relationship. you had me boxed in- unable to say the words that lusted on my lips. You were nothing but trouble in the life of a little girl.  

thank you for being my knight in shining armor. thank you for being my husband and letting me be your wife when we played house and pretending to eat the plastic food i handed you on a plastic plate with no fork no knife no spoon. thank you for chasing me around the playground and teaching me how to throw a football. thank you for letting me sit in the stands and cheer you on at the baseball game you were pitching in when you were 12. thank you for pulling my hair and for the callused hands from swinging on monkey bars and the bandaids of my youth. thank you for the eyelashes you made me wish on when one fell on my cheek. thank you for getting that bee out of my hair and for sharing your lady bugs with me. thank you for making mud pies in the backyard and for racing your new two wheel bike around the street, but slowing down when i came because i still had my training wheels. thank you for giving me your heart and trusting me not to break it and holding my hand when i was sad. thank you for telling me it would be okay if i got hurt or if i was just sad for the day. thank you for sharing your crayons with me and coming and seeing movies with me and going to baseball games together when we were so little and for being my little boyfriend- my first boyfriend. thank you for the grass stained  jeans and making me laugh until i couldn't breathe and the days where we ate powdered sugar doughnuts off strings on the playground and were in the 3 piggy opera together. thank you for being my first real friend. you will last forever.
and you're better than anyone could ever have guessed. you're more beautiful than the stars in the sky. it's midnight and you're on my mind. 
eat more watermelon- it makes you sexy
how sick is this back yard!? I would love to lay on a raft or on a lounge chair in the island in the middle of the pool and tan and relax and drink Arizona iced tea with my aviators on. That would be a successful day

so i have been in love with miss dior cherie- it is my current obsession. pink sugar by aquolina is also a good one.. but it's really young and sweet. its cotton candy scented perfume basically it's yummy but it's not for everyone. Vera Wang Princess is another one that I absolutely love. If you don't want to spend $50 to $100 on perfume i love victoria's secret's pure seduction.  viktor and Rolf's flowerbomb is good too- my sister wears that one. Dolce and Gabbana's Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue is really fresh and clean smelling. And i am in love with Versace Bright Crystal :)